As sad and true this post is, it actually turned out to be quite therapeutic because it allowed for me to kind of really laugh at my pain and enjoy the moment. These rejections are just a teeny fraction of emails; I’ve only included a five-month span of the bullshit.
- “Unfortunately, at this time, you have not been selected to move forward with the next phase of the process.” (Was the next phase by any chance of game Angry Bears? I’ve beaten that game before and I can do it again.)
- “We appreciate the time you invested in applying; however, at this time we have decided not to move forward with your application for the above referenced position.” (If anything you are unappreciative.)
- “We want to let you know that the _______ position has closed and is no longer available.” (Closed??? TF, it was just open.)
- “Although we were impressed with your qualifications, we have decided not to move your application forward.” (Yes, my impressiveness turned out to be rather unimpressive after all.)
- “We have had the chance to review your application and based upon our review we are unable to offer you a position at this time.” (How long did you review my application? I demand a re-review.)
- “At this time, the position has been canceled.” (Well un-cancel it.)
- “We have decided not to move forward with your candidacy.” (Moving forward without me is just putting you two steps behind.)
- “Unfortunately, at this time, we have selected other candidates whose skills more closely match our requirements.”
- “Although your background is impressive, we regret to inform you that we have decided to pursue other candidates for this position at this time.” (This one and #8 were on the same day, hours apart, and with the same company. Why won’t you just find a new scab to pick you monsters!)
- “Unfortunately, after careful consideration, we have determined that our current position is not ideally suited to your talents, experience, and qualifications.”
- “After a careful review of our staffing needs, we have decided to cancel this posting.” (I actually knew this was lie b/c I literally interviewed just two days before.)
- “After careful review, we have decided to move forward with other candidates whose profiles more closely match the requirements for _______.” (Yo, this was for a temporary position! I can’t even get temporary shit?!?!?)
- “We regret to inform you that we will not be moving forward with your candidacy for this position.”
- “We have reviewed the qualifications of each candidate and after careful consideration, we have determined that the credentials of other candidates more closely match our requirements at this time.” (By any chance, did they attend Hogwarts? What are these “credentials”?)
- “Ultimately, there were applicants with experience that made them a better fit for this job.” (At least you’re honest in telling me there were other applicants better than me. No damage to my confidence whatsoever, none.)
- “We have reviewed your background and are impressed by your accomplishments. However, after careful consideration of your application, we have concluded that your particular blend of skills and experience does not match our needs as closely as those of other candidates we are considering for the _________ and have therefore decided not to proceed further.”
- “We received a large number of applications and we regret to inform you that your application has not been selected for an interview.” (You probably didn’t even look at it to begin with.)
- “We have reviewed your background and qualifications and find that we do not have an appropriate position for you at this time.” (Great because I only like inappropriate positions anyways! Makes the job much more interesting.)
- “We have reviewed your details and after careful consideration, we regret to inform you that your application will not progress.”
- “Unfortunately after careful consideration, we have decided to move forward with another candidate.”
- “…we’re looking for just the right combination of skills and experience.”
After a while, I started thinking whether applying to be a software architect or a brain surgeon or an astronaut or an Italian translator was easier than what I actually studied in college.
Honestly, recruiters are looking for the perfect candidate and sometimes the perfect candidate exists, but realistically the perfect candidate can be created. I’m never going to 100% fit what these companies are looking for because they’re all looking for something different. So much talent gets looked over because recruiters ignore potential; they want you to already be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist.
Do any of these look familiar for you? Are you tired of reading the same thing? Are you currently in the job search struggle?